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Saturday 27 August 2011

Change is good



Change is good.  It doesn't have to be scary.  What is scary is hate filled speech by people who never learned that they can accept that people are different.  It is as if some people are only able to feel good about themselves when everyone that surrounds them is just like them.  As if different opinions, as if diversity in itself, is felt by them as a rejection of who they are - as if to their mind it affects how good they feel about themselves.

Hey: if you need to look down on others so you can feel good about yourself - there's something wrong here.  If you can't accept that others lead their lives on principles and values you don't approve of, if you have to disparage others - then your own morality is not moral.  You give no-one the right to tell you how to lead your life, do not expect to take this right upon yourself: you are not your brother's keeper, you are not the keeper of others.  You can only make judgements about yourself.  Do you?

Whatever we are used to, it's comfy.  It feels like it has to be right because it is familiar.  When you realise that something doesn't work for you any longer, when it becomes clear that a change of some sort is needed, - it can feel very scary.  So scary that many people would rather do anything except to change.

That's because all of us are not used to change.  We all of us embrace what we know.  We all of us cling to what makes sense to us.  But that doesn't mean that we can't see what's beyond our realm of experience.  That we can't open our eyes and see.  We should be able to see that others have different points of view.  We should be able to feel that that's okay.

The world can be a brighter place when we are not too scared about what divides us in terms of experience, knowledge, values and insights.  Just like a homophobe is too scared of shining a light on their own prejudices we should look at our own prejudices and examine them.

Change is scary but it is not bad for us.  Particularly when we allow ourselves to learn.


What kicked off this blog post is this site I found: http://www.whof.net/ - I am very impressed by the project: reporting homophobic hate speech on Facebook.  Acting against hate is so important and I probably don't do enough of it myself because I only talk with people who already agree with me.
There are some terrific sections about LGBT issues - I particularly like the page on what to do when you are being bullied, whether that's homophobic bullying or bullying for other reasons.  Well worth checking out.

Saturday 23 July 2011

Countdown to DADT repeal

It finally happened, the repeal of DADT has been certified, as of yesterday 22 July 2011.

In 60 days, on 20 September 2011, the US military follows the example of so many other countries around the world (only 11 years after for example the UK) in no longer investigating and discharging LGB service members.  Lesbian, gay and bisexual people will also be able to enlist.

Here is the countdown clock marking down the 60 days till this odious law is off the book:


This is a massive step that I feel makes the world become a better place. More tolerance for diversity, a better undertanding that people are different - and a point that I feel very strongly about.

No-one is worth more than another human being.  We cannot in all good conscience look down on someone else and feel that we are entitled to more rights and privileges than someone else. This would just be unconscienable.

Everyone is worth the same, everyone has the same value and no-one is superior to anyone else.

I am very glad that the US will no longer dismiss service members for nothing else than their sexual orientation, or not permit them to enlist.  Just like their straight counterparts, LGB service members are doing a great job defending their nation and in turn making the world a safer place.  I also hope that the US will soon change their position and will permit transgender people to serve (as is the case in for example Canada).  I hope that the same sex spouses of service members will one day soon receive the same benefits as the husbands and wives of straight service members.  I hope that their children are able to live just as all other children of military couples and not have to contend with discriminatory differences that their parents are subjected to due to DOMA.

But for now: 60 days till 20 September.  Good riddance to DADT.

Saturday 16 July 2011

My new Favicon

Oh the little things in life that bring us joy:  I just managed to a) discover that you can change the Blogger icon (long a thorn in my eye, making me feel exceedingly grumpy!) - and b) I managed to change it to something much, much more appropriate!

A little lady bug, just like on my logo pic!

Ooh, isn't it delightful?  And cute too.  Maybe a tad difficult to see (ahem, I mean: recognise), but still.  It's no longer that bland orange B of Blogger but something individual instead.

Just the kind of thing I like.  A lot.

I am such a geek. Har-de-har-har!


I also put a link to my Twitter account into my blog description.  I just hope it works.  I renamed my main account to @GrumpyMoll (most appropriate, wouldn't you say! Though it is meant just a teensy bit ironic {rubs nose lightly}).

So there we go: those little things in life that bring joy and satisfaction!

Just shows again: to each their own.  This is my kinda thing that makes me ridiculously happy.

Thursday 5 May 2011

What does sleep have to do with weight?

What I came across today: really interesting information when you're desperately trying not to gain weight but something unfathomable is going very, very wrong. You try and try and it ain't happening.

Well, are you sleeping enough? Well enough, early enough?

I never thought to connect the amount of sleep I get with my fluctutions in weight.  Stands to reason that other things work out better as well when you get enough sleep, - but your weight?  Blimey, that's a really good point - I will definitely watch out for a bit to see how I am doing on this.

Here is the link to the article: "People who stay up late eat more, eat worse, study finds". There is the link to the source data on Obesity, a research journal, this also mentions previous studies on animal feeding times and their weight regulation.  One of the big conclusions of the present study (about humans, obviously) is that eating after 8pm increases the risk of obesity.  Who'd have thought that there's scientific evidence for this. In-ter-est-ing!

Years ago I saw an Oprah Winfrey programme where she mentioned that she doesn't eat after a certain time in the evening ("Not even a grape!"), which happened to be earlier than 8pm, and was and is way too early for me.  I would think that her work day starts a lot earlier than mine though.  I'd arrived at a 8pm cut-off time as a good time for me and I was very happy to find that I lost over a stone and a half in weight.  It took about 8-9 months.  The nice thing was that I wasn't doing anything all that differently except for just not eating after 8pm.  (Most of the time: aiming for doing the right thing 80% of the time is good.  It is achievable and that percentage gives you optimum effect and the best chance of success)

The trick is to find the right time to make the change into the new regime.  Our habits don't let go of us so easily, it takes a bit of time and effort to adapt to a new habit and stick with it.  When I had success with this (rather a while ago...) it was because I started on a Friday evening when I didn't have anything on and a whole relaxing weekend to get into it - there was no pressure, no stress from having to be anywhere or do anything.  I think I'd like to do that again: look out for the right time and then go for it.  Might be useful to make sure I have healthy food in the house and an idea of what to cook so I can do that in time for the cut-off point.  Always useful to have a plan...

The bit about not eating even a grape is to do with the acid/fruit sugar in a grape: it does a great job in increasing your appetite.  Not the sort of thing you want to happen late in the day: you've already eaten your evening meal and you really don't want to have to deal with getting hungry again.  Particularly when you had enough food...  Makes sense, don't it?

The increase in appetite is down to, I think, the effect on your stomach juices (or are they called digestive or gastric juices?  Basically, the liquid stuff that breaks down food).  Plain water is good: there's nothing in there with unwanted side effects and it fills your stomach.  Some people prefer not to drink anything with a meal, they say that it dilutes those stomach juices and makes digestion less effective, or something along those lines.  I am not sure what I think of this thought yet, I'll have to look into it a bit further.

There's another good article: "Are you getting enough good sleep?"

This also relates consequences of poor sleep as "increased fat storage" as well as "reduced insulin sensitivity" amongst other factors.  I thought the reference to magnesium deficiency was very interesting.  The problem is that symptoms of magnesium deficiency are extremely hard to interpret correctly.

Monday 21 February 2011

Favourite Quotations

I just saw a tweet by Cesar Millan that I like:

"Don't let the past hinder your progress. Let it go and stay true to the dream"

I like that. He knows what he's talking about when you're trying to improve your skills as a pack leader: dogs are not hung up about the past, they react to the energy you bring now.

The quotation transfers pretty well to everything else. Why remain stuck on something from the past that doesn't help you now but instead makes everything so much harder?


There are other quotes I like:

'I would rather get occasionally taken advantage of, than run through life with permanently bared teeth.'

'Don't put off to tomorrow what you can do today, cos if it was fun today, you can go for it again tomorrow!'

And Winston Churchill had a lot of brilliant things to say:

'Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.'
'We shape our buildings; thereafter they shape us'
'The first quality that is needed is audacity.'
'We occasionally stumble over the truth but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.'

And one I'm often guilty of:
'The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read.'

Sunday 20 February 2011

An exercise to boost your self-esteem

I'm really fed up with the negative rubbish that sometimes runs through my head (ker-klunk, ker-klunk, ker-klunk).  Dark, dysmal, gloomy thoughts are such an obstacle to living life more positively, cheerful and brighter:  when your sense of curiosity animates you, when hopefulness energises you and a positive frame of mind makes it possible to see things as do-able, instead of hanging back fearfully and letting the negativity restrict my outlook.
But when I keep telling myself the same old codswallop that I don't even want to think of let alone repeat here in this blog post, then trying to hit the off switch ain't all that easy*.

That's why I like the simple exercise as described in this article on the Gay UK News website. The specific bit starts a bit further down and is head-lined: Boost your confidence.

Making a list of things you feel good about, and re-reading it as often as you can!  I really like the idea.

I do similar things, even though probably not often enough.  I like to put up a big old sign with a short mantra or quotation.  I place it next to a mirror or on a door that I use a lot.  Anywhere where I will see it often.

I don't keep the same one forever.  The shortest one said: Smile!
The corniest one was probably: I deserve it (I just about resisted the 'I am worth it' variation...).
I'm thinking of putting up a new mantra, it'll have to be something along fabulous lines.  I could do with a bit of a spark in my life.  (To be pondered...)

Other people do similar things with a photo, or a child's crayon drawing.  The kinds of things that remind you - feeling more upbeat is better for you (yup, corny again).

Maybe it's the body's natural endorphins that lift our mood, maybe that's how it works.  I don't really care, I just don't want the ker-klunk stuff running through my head.




*: I am not talking about depression.  I do not believe that you can lift yourself out of depression by using will power.  I am talking about the moods I get at times when negative thoughts do that carousel in my head thing.  The kind of thing where changing what you think will change how you feel.

Wednesday 16 February 2011

Little things that make me happy

I was thinking this again last week: there are some little things that make me very happy whenever I happen to do them.
One of them is how my white everyday china sparkles when I've done the dishes.
Another one is how cosy it feels to slip into a freshly made bed.
And when I finally got round to continuing with a crafts project I've been putting off for ages! It's just sheer and utter bliss!

Why does it take so long and so much effort to do things whose outcome I know I'll enjoy enormously? Just how contrary as people are we that we struggle with stuff that we don't enjoy, and then we don't do the things we actually enjoy either??  What is that all about?

How very odd.

It doesn't take long to wash up a couple of dishes in order to bask in how sparkling and fresh they look.  And feel satisfaction from an achievement.  I suspect that the 'china question' has something to do with whether the sun is out or not.  On a gloomy, miserable day you can't exactly see that sparkle, can you?  Also: everything seems to take so much more effort to get going with if it's a grey and unwelcoming day outside.

There is another little thing that I really enjoy: I wanted to buy a chain of fairy lights just before Christmas last year to put up.  Couldn't find any.  But I found some branches (painted white) with fairy lights on.  I stuck those in a nice glass vase, a generously big cylinder with a nice rim, - and placed them on a window sill.  I love seeing them twinkle after it gets dark, it just gives my heart a warm glow - if that doesn't sound too soppy.  Yes, it does, but who cares. Right?

I think I'd like to do things like that more often.  It'll be fun.

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Thursday 27 January 2011

Civility

Much heard online right now.  A pretty important concept.  Do onto others as you wish to be treated.

Which made me feel rather red-facedly ashamed when I stood in front of the opening tube door this morning and didn't realise for a moment that I was standing in the way of someone trying to get off.


Because that's precisely the behaviour that I utterly and completely detest!

You're on a tube train, it pulls into your station.  You fought your way to, or nearer to, the door (or actually: you're just announcing your intention to get off at the next stop by standing up taller and looking very determined), the train stops, you see the people on the platform outside shifting around.  And just as you're congratulating yourself on having a clear path not just off the train but to zip along towards the exit too: someone shifts around some more and ends up right in your way: smack bang exactly in front of the opening door.  Usually with a really bovine expression on their faces: 'why aren't you getting off already so I can get on?'  When you say 'excuse me' the facial expression then changes to something like: 'Well, you can contort yourself and move around me, can't you!?' - I can't even begin to say how much that gets to me!

And this morning, I'm stood there like an absolute idiot waiting to get on the train, and I just couldn't understand why that wasn't possible straight away.  Not until that passenger said, rather annoyed (read: seriously pissed off): " 'scuse me!"  I completely understand the annoyance, believe me, only too well!

I hope that my "I am so sorry!" and jumping smartly out of the way was really as quick as I hope.  But, honestly, how daft of me!

I guess it's down to the fact that 'normally' at this time in the morning, no-one gets off the tube at this stop.  I must have been half asleep still.  But that's no excuse - I really should have been more with it and moved without having to be prompted.  Common courtesy.  It makes other peole feel better and it doesn't cost you anything.

I really must pay more attention, even when half-asleep and in my own little world.  It's not a new year's resolution (I don't do those), but I'd like to be a bit more conscious of the world around me, and something like this is definitely a part of it.  A big part.

I think I would like to think some more on the whole subject of good manners.  Wouldn't it be so lovely if I could raise my game a bit in that area, sort of generally, across the board?  That would really make me feel good about myself, I must say.

Here's to civility!

Are good manners important?  What do they mean to you?

Saturday 1 January 2011

Happy New Year!


I am looking forward to the new year:

+ I would like to enjoy the sunshine more when it is around (I can knit outside just as easily as I can inside)

+ I would very much like to call my loved ones more often on the phone: family and particularly friends.  Keeping in touch is so important and it can be a bit challenging, time just flies.

+ I have my heart set on a few crafts projects - the next pair of socks will be easy to start, the next sewing project needs a bit more follow-through after the previous three projects failed.

+ I would like to investigate a few more cafes that might be open later in the day so I can pop in after work.  Again to knit or just to sit typing up an email, we'll see.

+ More of the same for the point above: check out some of the public spaces like the Royal Festival Hall - I'd like to find out what other ones there are.

+ I am thinking about taking on more responsibility at work.

+ I am definitely going to post more to this blog, there are some subjects I'd like to remind myself about.  Think them through as I write them.

+ I have other less well defined ideas that I want to be open to (what's to stop me from freshening up the French I once knew?)

+ And above all I want to live a bit more 'aware' if that makes sense.  Not just slog along each day and resurface from the trance-like lull all too rarely, - but instead enjoy things more, think a bit more deeply and be more determined in going after the stuff I want.  No Sleeping Beauty coma for mother's daughter!  Let's kick that into touch.

* Most importantly: let's thoroughly enjoy things & kick ass...


Have fun and a fabulous first day of the year!

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